Social Connectedness: An Overlooked Need of Autistic Individuals
Edited by Stephen Braren & Rose Perry, Ph.D.
The Creatures Times aims to promote awareness of the importance of social connectedness for all individuals. However, we’ve yet to talk about social connectedness through the lens of neurodiversity. That is, do individual differences in brain function lead to differences in the needs or desires for social connections? To begin to answer this question, we look to the social connectedness needs of individuals on the autism spectrum.
Many autistic* individuals communicate and socially interact in ways that are different from non-autistic individuals. Specifically, autistic social communication styles are often characterized by delayed language, differences in the production and recognition of facial expressions, and decreased eye contact.
Due to these differences, it has frequently been assumed that autistic individuals are not interested in making social connections.
In one study on public perceptions of autism, many people stated that they interpreted the social communication styles often displayed by some autistic individuals, such as avoided eye contact or reduced emotion, as signs of social disinterest [1]. Unfortunately, these differences in social behavior are sometimes misconstrued by non-autistic individuals as coldness and disengagement, rather than simply being recognized as different styles of social and emotional expression. As one survey respondent candidly put it, autistic individuals “don’t seem to want to mix with anybody.”
The perception that autistic individuals do not want social connection is not new and was initially voiced by early clinical researchers like Leo Kanner and Hans Asperger, who are both credited with first describing autism. For instance, in one of the field’s foundational scientific papers published in 1943, Kanner described his autistic patients as having a "powerful desire for aloneness" [2]. And while this early research has profoundly advanced our understanding of autism, it was based on the biased assumption that autistic individuals prefer aloneness and social isolation over friendship and connectedness.
The bottom line is that many autistic individuals do desire social connections, but oftentimes face difficulties forging friendships due to differences in their social presentation styles. And in fact, research is increasingly revealing that the difficulties that autistic individuals face with social connection stem in part from non-autistics’ negative impressions of autistic social presentation styles and a subsequent reluctance to socially engage with individuals on the autism spectrum [3].
Fortunately, scientists and clinicians are now developing a more accurate understanding of the social needs of autistic individuals, as well as recognizing that interventions to promote social connection need to address both autistic and non-autistic individuals’ abilities to recognize each other’s social signals. For instance, one recent article published in Behavioral and Brain Sciences found strong evidence that, contrary to common belief, autistic individuals do have a desire to connect with others [4]. The researchers analyzed studies in which autistic individuals reported their personal experiences with navigating social relationships. Collectively, studies show that many autistic people share an interest in social connections, but the misconception that autistic individuals prefer not to socially interact may itself lead some autistic people to experience little enjoyment in social situations.
In other words, autistic individuals are interested in making social connections but may demonstrate this interest differently. Despite these differences, non-autistic individuals must learn to recognize the social connection needs of autistic individuals, and increase their efforts to genuinely engage with autistic individuals even if doing so requires changing their own communication styles. Such alterations are central to dismantling the “social model of disability,” which suggests that disability exists due to the barriers that society creates for people with disabilities.
It is critical to note that the realization of the social needs of the autistic community has come to light thanks to increasing efforts to include perspectives from the autistic community in autism-related science and research. In a particularly illuminating account, one person shared their frustration with other people’s misconceptions about the social lives of autistic individuals:
“You might have been told that people with autism do not want social or romantic relationships, but this is a myth. While it is true that many of us struggle to create or maintain them, this does not mean that we do not want them. I have met some people with autism who, as a result of their experiences of repeated failure, have decided not to pursue friendships or relationships and focus on spending their lives on their own, but this is a rarity [5].”
Another person shared the importance of drawing on alternative explanations for atypical social behavior, besides how it appears on the surface:
“I can also seem uninterested, but this is only a self-preservation mask. I find it hard to communicate even if I have a lot of things I want to say [6].”
These personal accounts highlight the importance of studying autism with an empathetic ear and trying to understand a person’s lived experiences, instead of projecting assumptions and interpretations onto them. The voices of autistic individuals matter and should be heard to advance our collective understanding of autism, as well as to reveal the barriers to social connection that non-autistics create for the autism community. This was the approach taken by a pioneer in neurology, Oliver Sacks, who relied heavily on patient experiences to guide his conceptualization of neurological disorders and patient advocacy. Sacks valued learning from the individual, and was agile in working out ways to engage in friendly interactions despite individual differences in brain function, and this is largely why he is remembered today as a champion for the voice of autistic individuals [7].
Fortunately, we have come a long way since the initial misperceptions of Kanner and Asperger that autistic individuals strongly desire aloneness. Yet, more work is needed to continue amplifying the voices from the community so that we can all do our part to address their overlooked needs for social connectedness. After all, as their experiences suggest, autistic individuals are social creatures just like all of us.
*Social Creatures has chosen to use "identity-first" language when writing about autism in general, in accordance with the Autism Self-Advocacy Network, and evidence that the majority of autistic individuals prefer the use of identity-first language [8]. However, it's important to acknowledge that some members of the autism community prefer the use of "person-first" language. Thus, when featuring a specific member of the autism community, we will ask and abide by their preference. We added this disclaimer primarily to make the reader aware of the distinction and to encourage them to be thoughtful in the use of identity-first vs. person-first language when referring to the autism community. As always, we are happy to hear from our readers, so please do not hesitate to contact us using the link below if you have thoughts on our use of inclusive language.
In-text References:
[1] Huws, J. C., and R. S. P. Jones. "‘They just seem to live their lives in their own little world’: Lay perceptions of autism." Disability & Society 25.3 (2010): 331-344.
[2] Kanner, L. (1943). Autistic disturbances of affective contact. Nervous child, 2(3), 217-250.
[3] Sasson, N. J., Faso, D. J., Nugent, J., Lovell, S., Kennedy, D. P., & Grossman, R. B. (2017). Neurotypical peers are less willing to interact with those with autism based on thin slice judgments. Scientific reports, 7(1), 1-10.
[4] Jaswal, V. K., & Akhtar, N. (2019). Being versus appearing socially uninterested: Challenging assumptions about social motivation in autism. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 42.
[5] Drew, G. (2017). An adult with an autism diagnosis: A guide for the newly diagnosed. Jessica Kingsley
[6] Sequenzia, A. (2012). Just me. In: Loud hands: Autistic people, speaking, ed. Bascom, J. pp. 114-15. Autistic Press.
[7] Sacks, O. (1995). An Anthropologist on Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.
[8] Kenny, L., Hattersley, C., Molins, B., Buckley, C., Povey, C., & Pellicano, E. (2016). Which terms should be used to describe autism? Perspectives from the UK autism community. Autism, 20(4), 442-462