Tackling Parental Stress During the Pandemic
Edited by Rose Perry, Ph.D. & Stephen Braren
Tackling Parental Stress During the Pandemic | With the coronavirus pandemic leading to school, daycare, and business closures, many parents are now juggling roles as full-time teachers, caregivers, and employees—oftentimes while stuck at home with less access to social support. Now, more than ever, parents are responsible for maintaining the well-being and education of their children. However, this increased responsibility, paired with limited access to their typical social support networks, appears to be coming at the cost of rising stress levels for parents.
An ongoing study on “Parenting During the Pandemic”—led by Dr. Leslie Roos at the University of Manitoba—indicates that 40% of parents report unmet childcare needs since the onset of the pandemic [1]. Furthermore, this study’s initial results indicate that families are reporting high and unprecedented stress levels, which if left unaddressed may contribute to family health risks overtime. Indeed, while parental stress may seem self-contained, rising stress levels can impact more than just parents themselves.
Research shows that children depend on their caregivers to regulate their emotions and to determine how to navigate new situations [2,3]. If parents are experiencing high stress levels, children will pick up on it, and react accordingly [4]. In fact, studies demonstrate that parents serve as a link between stress in the environment and their children’s own stress levels [5], which can lead to emotional and behavioral problems [6,7]. Conversely, when their own stress levels are regulated, parents can more effectively buffer their children against the negative effects of stress [8]. This large body of evidence suggests that parents serve as a bridge between stressful environments and their children, and can act as either a catalyst or buffer of the effects of stress on their child, depending on their own stress levels.
As the stress of the ever-evolving pandemic becomes nearly ubiquitous, it is increasingly important that parents recognize the mental and physical toll that chronic stress can take [9]. Stress can cause cognitive and emotional changes including difficulty with decision making, altered concentration, fear, irritability, and hopelessness [10]. Stress can also affect the body, such as through excessive sweating, stomachaches, loss of appetite, chest heaviness, muscle tightness and headaches [10,11].
Any of these side effects of stress can interfere with a caregiver’s ability to effectively parent. Monitoring for signals of rising stress levels in the body can help parents intervene early to reduce the toll of chronic stress. Consequently, managing stress is one of the most effective ways for parents to support their children during difficult times such as these. It is important now more than ever to manage parental stress levels for the benefit of both parents themselves and their families.
Noticing the signs of stress in the body is the first step toward managing and regulating one’s own stress levels.
“Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s one of the best things you can practice for the health of your family.”
Tips for reducing parental stress:
Connect with loved ones outside your house
Social connectedness is especially important during this time of unprecedented isolation and can facilitate stress relief. If living with a partner, try devoting one night of the week to “date-night”. When spending time together in person is not an option, there are still ways to keep in touch with loved ones, such as via a virtual happy hour to catch up with friends, an online game night, or calling or writing a letter to a family member to say hello.
Turn down the news
While staying informed is important, it can be overwhelming at times. Take breaks from news coverage and engage with other content, like a good book or favorite old movie.
Take care of your brain and your body (as much as time and finances allow)
Eat healthy: Good nutrition is tightly linked to brain health and stress management. More time at home may mean more opportunities to try new, healthy recipes. Dust off those old cookbooks and experiment in the kitchen, or try some of these kid approved dinner ideas.
Get sleep: Sleep is a powerful stress reducer, but it can be hard to feel well-rested when worried. For a good night’s sleep, try avoiding screens an hour before bed, skip that late night cup of coffee, and follow these healthy sleep practices as much as possible.
Meditate: Try meditating first thing in the morning to start off each day with a clear mind. There are many free or open-access guided meditation apps and websites, like Shine, Headspace or Ten Percent Happier.
Exercise: Many platforms are offering exercise programs that are optimized for at-home environments. These can range anywhere from 10 minutes, to 30 minutes or even an hour long. Check out more tips for ways to stay active at home.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
There is no need to struggle alone. Reach out to a friend or loved one when the going gets tough. And take advantage of one of the many free webinars or online counseling resources if facing difficulties managing stress.
While normal air travel likely won’t be resuming anytime soon, an important in-flight lesson rings true for parents in today’s world: remember to put on your own mask before helping others with theirs. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s one of the best things you can practice for the health of your family.
There are also many ways that others can support parents through these stressful times, even if physically distanced.
Tips for helping a parent de-stress:
Check-in and listen up
Checking in on loved ones with kids will keep feelings of social support and togetherness alive, even when physically distanced. Simply lending an ear without trying to “fix” anything can be a validating experience and effective form of help.
Share a laugh
Now’s the time to send friends with kids videos, memes, or stories that will hit them right in their funny bone. Or try reminiscing over text message about humorous times shared together.
Make them a killer playlist
Music is a powerful stress-buster. Whether comprised of motivational, nostalgic, or soothing songs, a personalized playlist is a simple act of kindness that can be very cathartic.
Take something off their plate
While this is more difficult in the age of physical distancing, there are still ways to relieve parenting duties from afar. Offer to help with homeschooling by way of virtual tutoring, or occupy children via virtual play dates to provide some much needed sanity for over-stretched parents. To sustain children’s attention for longer periods of time, try free or low-cost apps that allow for high-interaction and gameplay, such as Caribu, Together, or The Family Room (which is resilient to low-bandwidth internet environments). Or try conducting cooking classes over a phone or video call.
Remember, being physically distant does not have to come at the expense of social connectedness.
In-text References
[1] Parenting During the Pandemic. (2020, April 21). Retrieved from https://www.parentingduringthepandemic.com/
[2] Hostinar, C. E., Sullivan, R. M., & Gunnar, M. R. (2014). Psychobiological mechanisms underlying the social buffering of the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenocortical axis: A review of animal models and human studies across development. Psychological Bulletin, 140(1), 256. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671
[3] Sorce, J. F., Emde, R. N., Campos, J. J., & Klinnert, M. D. (1985). Maternal emotional signaling: its effect on the visual cliff behavior of 1-year-olds. Developmental Psychology, 21(1), 195. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.21.1.195
[4] Waters, S. F., Karnilowicz, H. R., West, T. V., & Mendes, W. B. (2020). Keep it to yourself? Parent emotion suppression influences physiological linkage and interaction behavior. Journal of Family Psychology. Advance online publication. http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.med.nyu.edu/10.1037/fam0000664
[5] Perry, R. E., Braren, S. H., Opendak, M., Brandes-Aitken A., Chopra, D., Woo, J., … & Family Life Project Key Investigators (In press). Elevated infant cortisol is necessary but not sufficient for transmission of environmental risk to infant development: Cross-species evidence of mother-infant physiological social transmission. Development and Psychopathology.
[6] Platt, R., Williams, S. R., & Ginsburg, G. S. (2016). Stressful life events and child anxiety: Examining parent and child mediators. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 47(1), 23-34. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-015-0540-4
[7] Whitson, M. L., & Kaufman, J. S. (2017). Parenting stress as a mediator of trauma exposure and mental health outcomes in young children. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 87(5), 531. https://doi.org/10.1037/ort0000271
[8] Gunnar, M. R., Hostinar, C. E., Sanchez, M. M., Tottenham, N., & Sullivan, R. M. (2015). Parental buffering of fear and stress neurobiology: Reviewing parallels across rodent, monkey, and human models. Social Neuroscience, 10(5), 474-478. https://doi.org/10.1080/17470919.2015.1070198
[9] Mental Health and Coping During COVID-19. (2020, April 30). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html
[10] World Health Organization. (2008). Managing WHO humanitarian response in the field. In Managing WHO humanitarian response in the field. World Health Organization (WHO).
[11] World Health Organization. (2020). Doing what matters in times of stress: an illustrated guide.
